Internally
by Woodstock500
Summary: A one-shot of Itachi's final days and resolve.


Hello :)

I have been so obsessed with the turn that Itachi's life took, so I thought I would write a story about the few days before his final battle.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything of the sort.

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Internally

Every time he used his sharingan he grew weak, but it was now getting worse. On this past mission given to him and his partner by Akatsuki he had been forced to use his eyes. He could barely stand afterwards. His partner knew his weakness and had shown respect for him despite it, but this time was different. He had grown too weak from the battle and fled to the nearest village to seek treatment. He had vanished without telling his partner, fearing his dwindling strength would prove too great a hindrance and his partner would lose that respect.

He coughed, spraying bits of red into the palm of his hand. He looked at it and felt nothing. Not one bit of fear worked its way into his body at the sight of his own blood. He continued walking through the people and soon turned a corner to see the building he had been searching for and entered.

His eyes burned with the intensity of his once proud clan engulfing the women sitting next to him. She was startled, her body language told him this, but till she managed to say, "My you're a handsome young man, I wonder what trouble you've been getting yourself into to come here like this. What is your name?"

"Uchiha Itachi."

His name had no meaning here it was a regular civilian village. The woman just smiled at him and continued her work as a doctor. She was a pretty woman, older, and giving off an aura of intelligence. He enjoyed watching her perform medical techniques without the use of ninja arts. It was more simplistic and natural.

She continued her questioning, almost in a motherly way, "You're not in too much pain are you? You seem to have a few cuts and bruises, but nothing too serious from the looks of it. I feel so guilty that a kind man like you would be hurt so badly."

_I'm a monster_...he so badly wanted to say. He could never let himself externalize his true past and opinions.

"It was an accident, I fell." He lied again.

She obviously was not buying his excuse, but she stayed silent. She probably thought he had gotten in a brawl somewhere in the village and was just too afraid to admit it. The wounds across his skin were too small to have brought about the exhaustion that he felt, and he knew that she was also suspicious of that. She was a doctor after all.

It was his sharingan once gain.

But she could not know that.

Guessing at the reasons behind his void expression she began to ramble about different subjects, one interested him.

"You know violence never really solves much. War brings such pain, sadness, and betrayal. Peace is what you and I should strive for."

He had believed so much in peace once, and even right then as the women healed his external wounds, fragments of those philosophies roamed his mind. He remembered his little brother and the smiles of all the people who had had a hand in raising him. His thoughts began floating away from him and the smiles faded. His brother's vows of revenge played repeatedly in his mind. The image of his brother on the fateful night would always haunt the part of him that had practically died away.

It often helps to ease the pain. The pain of what he had done. He needed to be hated, that was the only way he knew he had once been loved and had loved another.

The women continued on telling him to be strong, and that love can help fulfill dreams. That was why she had become a doctor he had learned. She had wanted to protect others and help them live long enough to accomplish all their goals and dreams. Perhaps she could help him survive long enough to accomplish his last requests.

That she did. When she had him bandaged and rested enough to travel she had given him a medication that would help him with his stresses and his weak body.

She had known more than she admitted.

The medication would be enough to keep him going. He only needed to survive a bit longer.

His death was near, he knew that no drug or cure could completely take away his pain for it was too internal. No drug or cure could take away the path he had before him. He was begging for death. To die as one who had been hated during life. Only then would he be able to atone for his sins. He could remember when his beloved little brother had asked his reason for murdering their family and blood. At the time he told lies to protect his brother, but even if he had spoken the truth nothing would have been different. What reason could he have given to erase that he was guilty, that he had killed.

He continued on out of the small village walking slowly through a dark forest, emerging onto a cliffside.

As he came to the ledge to wait for his partner he let himself feel once more.

_I am still so far away from where you are, standing underneath these stars._

_I miss the years that were erased, that only I will cherish. They have been ruined for you, but have a little faith. I will give you your revenge and make you happy once again. I am still your older brother, and I want you to live and be comforted._

_Wherever you are I do truly miss you. But do not ever falter. Hate me and become strong. Do not let my fate become your own._

He would wash himself in the blood of those he had betrayed, and embrace their pain, taking their sins and bringing them into himself.

He had no choice but to thrive in shadows.

Everything was ready. It would all to come to an end. To see his beloved brother one more time and experience the hate he so deserved.

He was ready.

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Thank you for reading.


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